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Teaching Consent to Small Children

bebinn:

mysalivaismygifttotheworld:

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

Yes, consent is nonsexual, too!

Not only that, but one of the reasons many child victims of sexual abuse don’t reach out is that they don’t have the understanding or words for what is happening to them, and why it isn’t okay. Teaching kids about consent helps them build better relationships and gives them the tools to seek help if they or a friend need our protection.

brooklynboobala:

rumorsincolor:

I wore these leggings out on Sunday and even though I love them, I fucking hated them. I thought my legs looked too big (as I usually do) and honestly, I didn’t even want to look at myself. So, last night I decided that I was going to love them again. I found this shirt in the back of my closet, put on some makeup, and took these pictures.

Being positive about my body is so hard some days because truly, I’ve been told my whole life that my body is wrong and takes up too much space. But I’ve definitely come a long way. Last month, I would never have posted pictures that showed this much of my arms, stomach, thighs, etc. Last year, I would never have tied this shirt up, worn it without a tank top , and I SURE AS HELL would not have taken or posted pictures in it.

So these pictures are a giant FUCK YOU to everyone who has ever tried to make me feel bad about my body. It’s a fuck you to all of the people who wanted to like me in private because they couldn’t handle my body. It’s a fuck you to everyone who has ever offered me dieting or exercise tips that I never fucking asked for. And most of all it’s a fuck you to everyone who fetishes the fat bodies.

I don’t want your fucking help. I am not your fucking fetish. I will not hate my body to fit your standards

***DONT REBLOG THIS TO YOUR FETISH/PORN BLOGS that’s not what these are for

You inspire me. <3

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